Mizpah

A few of you have noticed that I haven't been blogging lately. I've left a few comments on various blogs, but I haven't been posting at my own. So I thought I'd break my blog silence and update you.

It was a long summer between work and four separate out of state trips. I'd like to say that we had a lot of vacation fun, but our trips out of state didn't have much to do with fun. Let's just say they were purposeful and unforgettable. The main reason you haven't seen me "blogging about" is my inability to find words to say much of anything. I've had a lot of emotional processing and the emotions and words have gotten so tangled up that ... well ... it's better to just wait until things have sorted themselves out a bit.

In June we went to Arizona to see my Grandmother for her 90th birthday. (I've written about my Grandma here in the past ... after reading through her diaries from the 30s and 40s.) It was a bittersweet visit since she was in the end stages of Alzheimer's, but it was so good to just hold her hand and give her hugs and kisses. In July we had just arrived in Colorado when I received a phone call that my Grandmother had passed away. I could do nothing by dropping everything and running back to Arizona, so we remained where we were for the week and tried to stay focused on our reasons for being in Colorado. After a quick trip home to wash clothes and re-pack, we headed back to Arizona for my Grandmother's funeral. It was a beautiful service that paid tribute to a beautiful woman who was loved and lived a long life.

One of my many memories of Grandma is a word that she would write at the bottom of every letter and at the top of every card ... Mizpah. The writing of this word was shorthand for a verse from the Bible: "The LORD watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another" Genesis 31:49. I believe the original biblical meaning was meant more as a warning to "behave," but many have viewed this verse as a blessing. My Grandmother saw this verse as a blessing and used it as such in all of her notes to family and friends. You see, she hated being separated from those she loved. Now that she is gone, and we are separated for an unknown period of time, I hold that blessing close to my heart.

Mizpah.