Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Blonde ...

Photo of the blonde courtesy of Rockit Music

OR ... I Married a Musician ... OR ... Mr. Distortion Goes to Hollywood. I'm not sure what to name this post, so let me explain. I married a musician who is referred to in some circles as Mr. Distortion and often takes his "blonde" to Hollywood. There.

I occasionally go with Mr. Distortion when he plays the clubs. The music generates a lot of excitement and much activity around the band afterward, so I generally mingle for awhile and chat with those who came to see the show. Eventually, I join Mr. Distortion and am introduced to whoever he is talking to at the moment. There is invariably one female in this post-show group who gushes at me "how COOL to be married to the guitar player"! I can only imagine what this starry-eyed soul is thinking. Perhaps, in her euphoric music-induced state, she imagines I get serenaded with love ballads on a nightly basis or that I am the inspiration for scores of original songs. How romantic. And of course there are the Lear jets, large sums of cash, and constant flow of backstage passes to any number of big name concerts. Uh-huh.

Oh to live in the imagination of that one. Well, here's a peek at what being "married to the guitar player" REALLY looks like...

In our home, TV viewing is a chance to practice guitar by plinking on an unplugged electric -- after all, it isn't plugged in so how distracting can it be? Music coming from the stereo is an immediate signal to pick up the nearest guitar and practice, either plugged or unplugged, by playing along with whatever is on said stereo. (I might add here that I'm not sure what my husband looks like without a guitar.) And forget the love ballads. At home I rarely ever hear anything that even sounds like a song. Guitar practice means that you only hear the guitar parts.

Musicians' hours are very nocturnal and events in Hollywood start at about 11pm, so one can expect to get home around 3am. Since I'm "married to the guitar player," it is generally in my best interests to transform from wife to roadie 'round about 2am. I'm sure this is one of the glamorous parts the above mentioned female was thinking about. Cough. Now about that transportation ... the ride to and from gigs may sound like a Lear jet, but it definitely looks like a rusty car. (Tip to aspirings: It is better to drive the clunker into Hollywood for late night gigs since the vandalism won't be as annoying.) And the large sums of cash? Let's just say Mr. Distortion has a day job.

That is the reality ... but here is what I think IS cool about being "married to the guitar player." It is exciting to watch my husband do something he absolutely LOVES, to hear the previously disconnected parts turn into an amazing whole, and to experience the energy that his playing generates. I see the reality, but others see and hear the magic. I guess it is cool being married to the guitar player after all.

Some cool local musicians to check out:
Mike Barnet
The Neighborhood Bullys
The Eugene Edwards Band
The Vaquetones


  1. Ah yes... I am at least fortunate that my brother (meaning the brother I am married to) doesn't do the Hollywood gig thing. Yet.

    Paragraph one. I could have written that. I have had someone ask me if my guitar god hubby sat around playing guitar and singing to me. No, no, no.

    This was a fun one, Terri!

  2. M., glad you enjoyed it. I knew you could relate!

  3. LOL! I don't know whether commisserations are in order, seeing how you're happy for your guy and his git*ar!

  4. A., hey it keeps him busy, he loves it, and he keeps the day job so I can't complain. And of course there is the "guitar players' wives support group" when it gets to be too much ;o)
    I can say this ... it is never EVER dull around our place.
    Glad you enjoyed the post!